delta air lines

After
> every
>       flight, UPS
>       pilots fill
> out a form,
>       called a’gripe
>
> sheet,’
>
>
>
>
>
>       which
> tells
>       mechanics about problems with the
> aircraft.
>
>
>
>
>
>         The
> mechanics
>         correct the problems, document their repairs on the
> form, and then
>         pilots review the gripe sheets before the next
> flight.
>
>
>
>
>          Never
> let it be
>         said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here
> are some actual
>         maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots
> (marked with a P) and the
>         solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance
>
>         engineers.
>
>
>
>
>         P:
>         Left inside main tire almost needs
> replacement.
> S:
>         Almost replaced left inside main
> tire.
> *
> P:
>         Test flight OK, except auto-land very
> rough.
> S:
>         Auto-land not installed on this
> aircraft.
>
> *
> P:
>         Something loose in cockpit
> S:
>         Something tightened in cockpit
> *
> P:
>         Dead bugs on windshield.
> S:
>         Live bugs on back-order.
> *
> P:
>         Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet
> per minute
>         descent
> S:
>         Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>
> *
> P:
>         Evidence of leak on right main landing
> gear.
> S:
>         Evidence removed.
> *
> P:
>         DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S:
>         DME volume set to more believable
> level.
> *
> P:
>         Friction locks cause throttle levers to
> stick.
> S:
>         That’s what friction locks are
> for.
> *
> P:
>         IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
> S:
>         IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> *
> P:
>         Suspected crack in windshield.
> S:
>         Suspect you’re right.
> *
> P:
>         Number 3 engine missing.
> S:
>         Engine found on right wing after brief
> search
> *
> P:
>         Aircraft handles funny.       (I
>         love this one!)
>
> S:
>         Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be
>         serious.
> *
> P:
>         Target radar hums.
> S:
>         Reprogrammed target radar with
> lyrics.
>
>
> *
> P:
>         Mouse in cockpit.
> S:
>         Cat installed.
> *
> And
>         the best one for last
> *
> P:
>         Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
> like a midget pounding
>         on something with a hammer.
> S:
>         Took hammer away from the midget
>
>
>

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