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Old Age and Wisdom

Subject: – Old Age and Wisdom

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”.. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought “NapTime” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is, “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it”
I don’t have grey hair; I have “wisdom highlights.” I’m just very wise.
Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.
& now finally –
Life is great. I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.
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